I grew up with parents that not only had separate beds but they each had their own room. I, at some point, realized that this wasn’t normal. All my friends’ parents seemed to share not only a room but a bed. I never thought much about it. After all, I Love Lucy had the Ricardo’s sleeping in separate beds. Maybe that’s just what some parents do.
Occasionally, there would be an excuse thrown out about back problems that one of my parents was experiencing. I didn’t come from a very affectionate household and in fact, it could be deemed as repressive. So no one in the household ever really talked about it. It was just the way things were.
I personally can’t imagine not sleeping in the same bed as my husband. I love resting next to him, waking up to him playing, playing footsie in the middle of the night. I just like his energy to be there even if we aren’t sleeping completely intertwined. As a therapist, I have had clients who for one reason or another do not share beds or rooms. Surprisingly many of them are young – in their twenties and thirties. The culprit many times is having kiddos that need to be soothed in the middle of the night so, that one parent or the other has to sleep with them. I’ve seen this begin when a child is an infant and continue well into school age. It seems that being a parent trumps being a couple. And I know plenty of you out there would agree with that statement.
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