May 30, 2012

Virgin to Vibrators

by Dr. Kat in Sex No Comments

Dear Dr. Kat,
I have never had sex. I am in my 30′s. I just bought a penis shaped vibrator. It will be here next week. How do I start to use it for the first time and will it hurt?
Rebecca

Dear Rebecca,

Well, I’m not sure if you have masturbated before without a vibrator but using sex toys can truly enrich you sexual experiences and help you to get to know your body even more. And since it’ll just be you experimenting with penetration, you’ll be able to control the sensations. You can go as slow or as deep as you want — something that might be difficult to control during partner sex.

It does not need to be a painful experience at all. You can choose to gradually penetrate yourself over several masturbation sessions. Perhaps the first time just running the tip of the vibrator round the outside of your vagina or anus. Then slowly inserting more of it as you go. An important component to a comfortable insertion is proper lubrication. Find yourself a good lube that works for you. This will be especially important with anal insertion as the body doesn’t naturally produce it’s own lubrication anally.

Whether you are male or female, penis shaped vibrators can actually be used in several ways; vaginally, clitorally or anally. First of all get comfortable and make sure you will have plenty of uninterrupted private time. Remind yourself to breath deeply. You may want to fantasize, read erotica, or watch an adult movie while you masturbate, or just focus on the sensation. If your vibrator has multiple speeds be sure to start with the lowest speed and work your way up. Be aware that you may not be able to orgasm by insertion alone. You may need to also stimulate your clitoris or penis at the same time.

You may eventually want to experiment with different insertable vibrators. There are many on the market made from everything from jelly to silicone to glass. Some may target the G-spot and others may be dual purpose (both clitoral/vaginal and anal). Take the opportunity to learn what stimulation your body responds to most.

Experimenting with insertion can help you learn more about what turns you on as well as help you prepare for insertion with a partner. Take the time to get comfortable and have the experience you want. If and when you do have partner sex it will only make it more enjoyable.