May 30, 2012

Too Big, Too Small? Too Fast, Too Slow? Dr. Kat’s Tools for the Penis

by Dr. Kat in Sex No Comments

On average I receive 10 emails a day claiming to help me grow my penis 3 or more inches or last longer before I ejaculate (This wouldn’t be so completely ridiculous if I actually had a penis). These ads play on the insecurities of men, and their formulas do NOT live up to their claims, period. Otherwise half the population would be walking around with elephant trunks in their pants and going hour after hour before ejaculating. Put them out of your head.
If you or your lover is having difficulty with erection, size or rapid ejaculation you do have options. Viagra, surgery or therapy are a few. But before going to those extremes you may want to try one of the easy, less invasive methods that actually work. We have outlined some of the more popular, sexologist recommended and fun aids to help.
Getting and Keeping an Erection
Some times men just need to have a reliable erection. Viagra is not possible or unappealing for some men and sex therapy may not be an option. In those cases the following toys can offer a solution that is reliable, medication free and has no side effects.
Cock Rings:
Cock-rings are devices made of rubber, leather or metal that wrap around the penis and testicles to keep blood from flowing out of an erect penis, a mechanical Viagra of sorts. Just like Viagra cock rings will not GIVE an erection, but will help to maintain one that exists while creating a firmer, more sensitive erection.
Pumps:
Penis pumps draw blood into the penis through mild suction helping to give a temporary erection as well as increasing the sensitivity of the penis. No drugs or invasive procedures are necessary, they work well, are safe and inexpensive. Keep in mind that while many men swear by pumps, others report they can be cumbersome and result in erections that are slightly limp at the bottom.
Rapid Ejaculation
Sensation is the key to monitoring how fast or slow a man reaches climax. Too much sensation too quickly and he will likely ejaculate faster than he (or she) wants. Attuning himself to, and playing with the sensation of his penis is the only way to learn control over ejaculation. The most important things to remember are to: 1. Stay relaxed; 2. Breathe and; 3. Tune into his body.
Practice tuning into the body with masturbation first:
For him: The best way to learn control over ejaculation is to do it alone, through masturbation first. Get close to the point where you feel like your ejaculation is inevitable and then stop. Don’t forget to breathe. Start again when you feel the point of no return has past. Once you have achieved control with your hand, move on to a lubricated hand, such as a men’s cream and finally to a realistic masturbation sleeve. We recommend:
Reduce sensation:
Contrary to popular belief, thinking of something non-sexual, like the score in the Knicks game, will NOT help him to last longer. Reducing sensation is NOT recommended as a long-term solution to rapid ejaculation. Instead, the real key is to understand and monitor the sensations on the penis during arousal and orgasm. Once he understands his own feelings and sensations during the arousal process he will be able to exert a control over his ejaculations that he never thought was possible. This is a long process, but has a big payoff.
But if he would like to simply “feel less sensation” using a condom is not a bad idea.
Note: Desensitizing creams are not recommended as they result in a “numbing” feeling some men find uncomfortable, must be used with a condom or they will give the woman a numbing feeling too, are expensive and they do not solve the problem in the long term.
Size Issues:
Too Big:
Have you ever seen spam that tried to sell a man on a product to reduce the size of his penis? Sounds ridiculous, but for most women a lover with an above average size penis is a much bigger problem than a penis that is below average. Too big = pain.

First thing to do if he is too big for you is to use lots of lube. The second is to indulge in all types of sex play, not just intercourse (remember the clitoris). You can move gradually from a finger to a slimmer dildo, on up to his penis.
Too Small
Although most men fit into the “normal” range, I do not want to underestimate the enjoyment many women get from feeling something of a larger size inside them once in a while.
For a woman who wants the additional sensation, she can use an extra-large dildo, or better yet, a man can use his own penis inside a size-enhancing toy, called an “extender”, to fill her every whim.
Wider
It is the “width” that gives women the most stimulation. Since most nerve endings are at the opening of the vagina, a wide girth is often preferred over length. There are special extension sleeves that give the penis the added girth she may crave while leaving the head of the penis uncovered letting him feel all of the sensation he normally would on the head of his penis.
Remember: ALL women get the majority of their pleasure stimulation (either directly or indirectly) to the clitoris anyway. If he is too small or too big the simplest solution is to focus on the clitoris.