May 29, 2012
The Mysteries of Tantra: Interview with a Tantric Shaman
Kenneth Ray Stubbs, PhD is a sexologist and certified masseur who helped to bring the Kama Sutra and sexual Tantric philosophy to the west. He is also considered one of the pioneers of developing and teaching conscious erotic massage. He has written eight books, released three videos, and is currently an adjunct professor at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Dr. Stubbs was kind enough to discuss some of the basics of Tantric philosophy and the Kama Sutra with Dr. Kat Van Kirk.
Dr. Kat: There seems to be some confusion regarding the Kama Sutra and Tantra. What differentiates them from one another?
KRS: Tantra is not just about sexuality but is a philosophy about embracing all of life. There’s a lot of variation in Tantra. Ranging from types that were developed in India to a form of Tantra based on Tibetan Buddhism. If you look at other world religions — Christianity, Judaism, Islam – sexuality is pretty much sinful or borderline. But Tantra says if you’re attached to any ideology’s conviction of right/wrong or good/bad, that will hold you back from enlightenment. For instance, Tantra says that if you are afraid of death you must actually begin to approach it … basically sit in a graveyard and call the spirits. It is to become conscious of your fears – to be mindful. It’s when you can begin to see the subtleties of life and your sexuality. Tantra is more of a spiritual path, more ceremonial. It is much deeper than what people think of as the Kama Sutra.
The Kama Sutra on the other hand is a text that was written in the 3rd or 4th century by an Indian Holy Man and was based upon other texts dating back to 100BC. The Kama Sutra is one summary from one person. We are actually unclear if he was just recording the information or actually partook of the lifestyle. It was really written for the sophisticated man about town, who had plenty of money and had the time to dabble in these pleasures.
Sir Richard Burton in 1893 published what became the popular Western version despite the censorship of its texts. What the Kama Sutra discussed was really an unheard of view of sexuality in puritanical England and the United States. It eventually gained particular fame in the late 60s, when it began to get republished and drew the interest of those exploring their sexuality at the time. Although women were still pretty dominated in the Kama Sutra it did reinforce female power through the importance it placed on the role of the courtesan in society.
Dr. Kat: I think many people have the assumption that Tantric sexuality is something to only be experienced as apart of a couple. What can the single, unpartnered person gain from studying Tantra?
KRS: In fact, I recommend primarily doing Tantra through masturbation. It allows you to tune into your own sensations with out having to focus on another person. It’s important to learn to dance with your own energy through breathing and sensation. It allows you stillness, awareness and mindfulness sometimes more than with a partner. However, after you develop Tantra on your own it’s also much easier to bring to another person. So, I think you need both.
You can begin to even play with the energetics of anything that you can feel a connection with. For instance, you can have a loving energetic exchange with even a focus on an inanimate object or animal. Anything that elicits the same heart connection you may experience with a lover can be reproduced through energy exchange alone. The genitals aren’t even involved. For instance in American Pie 2, the character Finch (who used one of my books to study Tantra), actually develops this energy exchange with a plant, to the point of where it was a non-genital but still a sensual experience for him. He was basically able to blend energies with the plant.
One of the basic human desires is the desire to connect, whether it is genital or not. This means if we can remove our attachment to what we think of as sex and sexuality with our specific culture, we can begin to see things with less judgment. Unfortunately, many don’t know how to cultivate this energy and therefore just act out sexually, often superficially.
Dr. Kat: If Tantra touts non-attachment to no specific ideal, how does monogamy figure in?
KRS: We choose monogamy. I don’t think there is anything inherently biological in being monogamous or not. But there are many factors to base the decision on. It’s always about choice, whether it’s easier to be based in a monogamous relationship because you want to avoid sexually transmitted infections or simply because it’s what the culture reinforces. Unfortunately, many choose monogamy unconsciously. It always better to be conscience and have a choice. And sometimes, you commit to things in life that aren’t always the ideal.
It’s not that having a non-monogamous relationship is superior…nothing is superior. However, monogamy is not as required in our culture as it used to be, but often people still get caught up in the cultural romanization of riding off into the sunset. The point is that you can still feel free to commit to someone but you don’t have to get caught up in the attachment of labels or ideals. Many people experience ebbs and flows in their sexuality in regards to orientation or behavior. It’s all about choice and feeling free to express yourself…it is all equal. Having more choices can be more difficult – being conscience about what you’re doing always is. In fact, you see many people trade in freedom for security because it is easier. If you want the freedom to choose the type and quality of the relationship that you’re in, you have to be willing to pay for the freedom.
Dr. Kat: How do you think the average person or couple, who are just getting acquainted with Tantra, can begin to incorporate it into their sexuality?
KRS: I always think a live class is best. But there may not be enough resources or those classes that are available may not be well run. Many of the classes focus on more sensual ceremony, which is a good place to start but it’s not what Tantra is entirely about.
Books are great if you’re not ready for the live class. But they can be somewhat esoteric and difficult to follow if you don’t pick the right ones. Videos are really helpful to see the positions but there are pseudo or quasi Tantra videos that end up not being serious about your learning. Many people are not very good consumers when it comes to sexuality help, nor do they realize that some practitioners are better than others. But can still search out the Tantra classes, videos, and books – it’ll be worth it.
Another place to begin is by taking a yoga class. It always helps to become more aware of the whole body — get centered in it. Learning erotic massage to share with a partner can help as a way to begin to touch one another in new conscience ways.
Overall, partners should have some agreement to make this new connection and embark on this journey. Many initially feel silly trying the breathing and positions out — until they can really buy into it. There’s no simple school to go to from beginning to end. But the beauty about Tantra is that there never really is an end point. You can always continue your education.
*You can visit Dr. Stubbs’s website at www.sexandspirit.com
Leave a Reply
