June 4, 2012
The Empowerment of Erotic Dance
I remember as a child being entranced by strippers. How was it that they had such confidence and control that they could sway into a room and remove clothing while keeping their eyes locked on another human being? It seemed shocking to me that someone could not only display their vulnerability like that but also embrace and claim their own sense of power from it. Fast-forward twenty or so years and stripping and erotic dance are everywhere. From movies to Pussycat Doll Burlesque to cardio striptease and pole dancing classes at the gym. The mainstreaming of erotic dance has occurred and I must say, it doesn’t make a bad Valentine’s gift — not only to your partner but to yourself.
A myth about erotic dance is that it is only for the pleasure of our partner. While it does provide an opportunity to connect with our partner in a whole new way, I believe the person dancing experiences the most benefit. Learning to erotic dance can give us a wealth of information about ourselves. Not just sexually, but about our self-esteem, value system, interpersonal abilities and of course body image. There are many sexually and an emotionally well-adjusted woman out there who’s last Holy Grail is learning to erotic dance. It can give these women an opportunity to look at themselves as powerful erotic beings for the first time in their lives.
Erotic dance is about getting into your own body and this can be no small feat. Look at our day-to-day existences. We mostly function in our heads. Even when we do physical labor we are so disconnected from what our bodies are actually doing that we do not get any real benefit out of it. Getting into our bodies means paying attention to exactly how it feels to move this part or that. Different emotions can live on a cellular level throughout our bodies and so certain movements may elicit an emotional response. Observing how our mind reacts to certain movements is important too. “I’m comfortable with hip swaying but not with hip thrusts. Why is that?” Learning to examine our responses to the experience is important.
Taking time with ourselves, creating a sexy environment and then watching ourselves move in a mirror is a good way to start. Journaling about these experiences can give us insight. A good way to graduate from watching yourself in the mirror would be to then try a DVD on your own and then moving to a live class. Some women want to surprise their partner with their moves, while others can use their partner as apart of the process to practice connecting. Perhaps beginning a little at a time rather than feeling pressured to do a whole routine. For example, decide to take one moment during the day to make a movement that helps you feel erotically empowered. Your partner walks in the door, you decide to go right up to him or her and wrap one leg around the back of their legs as you kiss them gently. Can you imagine how that must energetically change the mood in a room? And it was all your doing.
Some women are intimidated by the fact that erotic dancing is performance oriented – “Don’t I have to be good?” What they don’t realize is that much more is conveyed and I believe experienced by the dancer if they are connected to themselves emotionally, truly being in their bodies in the moment. The best “performances” I’ve seen are not those with the most acrobatic moves but those that seem the most authentic, that genuinely come from the soul of the woman.
Using erotic dance as a tool to create sexual excitement and please your partner is great but using it to get to know yourself and get comfortable with apart of yourself that you have been denying is magnificent. It’s funny but the more women I see going trough this transformation, the more I realize how much of it they energetically carry into the rest of their lives. Imagine walking into a room knowing you can command everyone there with just your energy. Now that’s empowerment.
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