May 31, 2012

Pregnant Sex

by Dr. Kat in Sex 1 Comment

Dear Dr. Kat,
“I’m four months pregnant and I’m scared to have sex. Will it hurt my baby?”
Lola

Dear Lola,
Unless advised otherwise by your healthcare provider, sex during pregnancy is considered normal and natural. Many expectant parents have unfounded fears that they are “hurting” the baby, that intercourse may cause a miscarriage, or that somehow the baby “knows” they are having sex and they become ashamed of their activities. Although many wive’s tales abound, if you are having a healthy pregnancy, sex can be a positive and bonding experience between you and your partner. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom’s abdomen and is blissfully unaware of the meaning of what is happening outside of the womb. If anything, the warm sense of security and love experienced during sex may actually have a pleasant indirect effect of soothing the baby. The release of oxytocin into the mother’s body during physical touch will have a positive effect as well.

Granted, depending on the length and size of the pregnancy you may both need to modify your positioning. It’s suggested that later in the pregnancy a woman should avoid lying flat on her back, because the weight of the growing uterus will put pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position, such as lying sideways or having the woman on top.

Also desire to have sex may fluctuate during the pregnancy. This may be due in part to both hormones, the changing of the woman’s body, and both she and her partner’s feelings about these changes. Often the first trimester can actually be the most challenging if “morning sickness” is experienced. Later in the pregnancy, a larger body may create a since of insecurity within the woman and therefore feeling sexy may be difficult to muster. The partner may also face issues with being unsure as to how to initiate sex and finding ways to position themselves.

And don’t forget to employ all of those other delicious forms of sex during pregnancy and especially directly after when vaginal penetration may not be suggested. Focus on other erogenous zones, kissing, caressing, and oral sex. Sensations may change during pregnancy so have your partner move slowly with their touch and check in with you regarding what feels good and what doesn’t. After all, it’s sex that brought this joyous experience into your life; you should be able to relish it all the way through your pregnancy.