June 4, 2012

Keeping Things Hot While He’s Deployed

by Dr. Kat in Love Tags: nudie pictures, panties, steamy erotica No Comments

Dear Dr. Kat,

My husband and I are newly married and he was recently sent to the Middle East with a deployment by the Armed Forces. How can we keep the home-fires burning sexually while he’s away?
Raquel

Dear Raquel,

That can be quite a feat, considering all the stresses your daily life without your lover, as well as not knowing about his welfare. It’s great that you are both committed to keeping a very rewarding component of your relationship going, during this no-doubt trying time. Many partners find a new sexual bond, however, when faced with the daunting ask of maintaining their passions for one another in the face of conflict. It can also be a great stress-reliever for both of you. If you’re looking for some sexy ideas that go above and beyond merely keeping the romance alive, then here are some suggestions for getting started. As they go from just a little spicy to highly racy, attempt at your own risk:

• It may be an obvious solution, but sending love-letters (or, more appropriately, ‘erotic’ letters) is a great way of expressing your passion for someone. You could go a couple of different routes with this. Either e-mail him some original prose, or cut and paste some steamy erotica from a website you like. You could also go the old-fashioned route by buying some beautiful stationary, perfuming it, and then handwriting something sensual. Kissing it with lipstick never hurts.
• Men love panties! And specifically “your” panties. Buy a sexy pair and wear them around for an afternoon. Enclose them in a sexy envelope and off they go to the post office!
• Digital pictures — although that can be tricky. It will depend upon his access to a computer and his level of privacy when he finds one. If you can’t pull off digital pictures, then just include a glossy or two with an erotic letter. Hopefully, you’ll have enough trust in him that you won’t have to worry about your nudie pictures entertaining the whole troop, unless you’re feeling incredibly patriotic and want him to — in that case there’s nothing like serving your country.
• An audio tape of you masturbating? You bet. Get comfortable one night home alone, light some candles, and break out the satin sheets on the bed. Then give him a step-by-step account of what you’re doing to yourself on his behalf. There will be nothing like his head hitting the pillow to your moans at night.
• Body pressings. Basically, you hit your local art store and find some acrylic paint (which won’t irritate the skin) and buy some butcher paper. Canvas would be better, but it would probably be more difficult to send in the mail. Take your goodies home, strip down, paint yourself and roll around on a few feet of paper. Once it’s dry you can send it with an explanation of what part is what – he might need the hint but, regardless, it will be a creative way to peak his interest.
• Toys for men. There are plenty of sex-toys on the market designed for men as the “next best thing”. Pick one out at an online store and have it shipped directly to him. He’ll probably be the luckiest guy in the barracks.
• Ye’ old phone-sex – or, if possible, cyber-sex. Depending on availability, this is a way you two can still share a bonding orgasmic moment together in real time. You can tell him exactly what you’d like to do to him while doing it yourself.
• Read a great erotic novel or how-to-book and then write some notes on the edge of the page of what you liked about it and how it made you feel. Write with a sexy pen-color and point out which stories were fodder for your own personal fantasies. Then mail the book off to him and let his own imagination wander.
• Buy some adult videos and watch them on your own. Then, the next time you talk to him, you can tell him what scenarios got you off the most. If you’re new to porn, check out some female-friendly directors.
• Write your own erotic journal. Or maybe just include some notes in your regular journal of what about him turns you on, and so on. Perhaps you could both do this and then occasionally swap journals to get a peek into one another’s sexual psyche.