May 29, 2012
Dr. Kat’s Practical Tantra: No Partner? No Problem
Tantra isn’t just about what positions you can get into with a partner. It’s a way of life and for many it is a way of connecting with one’s self. The best way to begin to practice Tantra is actually on your own – no partner required. Tantric practice on your own can create the foundation for later practice with a partner. It is profoundly rewarding and more than a few people have found that their practice has changed their life. So, what does solo tantric practice involve?
Get a feel for Tantra is about:
Do research by visiting some Tantra websites, chat with other practitioners if possible. There are also plenty of books and videos out there that will outline the process for you. Also, most metropolitan areas will have small Tantra groups that get together to practice. This doesn’t mean that sex is involved; it means that the practitioners will meditate together, have lectures on different relevant subjects, and do ceremonies known as pujas as a group. These groups can be very helpful in getting a sense for how others practice. There is not a religious context but a universal divine one. And most groups welcome single individuals to practice with them.
As you begin to get familiar with tantric philosophy, begin to question your cultural myths and conditioning around sex. If you were brought up like most of us (in a Judeo-Christian culture) then more than likely you’ll need to develop a consciousness around your thought process around sex. For instance, do you have a pang of guilt still when you masturbate? Do feel hung about your nude body? Etc… Beginning to ask yourself these questions is a very important part of embracing Tantra.
Begin to see the world through tantric eyes:
Once you know what Tantra is about see if you can begin apply the tantric attitude to everyday life. In Tantra the world and everyone in it is seen as divine. It’s about not taking anything for granted and truly seeing the beauty in all living things. Some questions to ask yourself here are: Do you take time to appreciate the little things in life like sunsets and blooming flowers? There is something to the old adage of stopping to smell the roses. What is your approach to life? When things don’t go the way you would like them to do you stew in anger and negativity? Or do you see everything as a life lesson to be appreciated? This is the same with sex. We should all practice our appreciation for our bodies and what they are capable of right now. Sex becomes positivity driven versus negative.
Be present moment:
As you’re beginning to see tantric sexual practice can also benefit your everyday non-sexual life as well. That also goes for learning to live more in the present moment. How can you truly experience your sexuality if you are focused on the kids, paying your taxes, or even being overly focused on a partner? It’s the same with life. Life can pass you by when you live only in your mind – focusing only on the past or worrying about the future. I think most people would be surprised how much time they spend not being in the moment. The best way to develop being in the moment is through some type of meditation practice. This may be just five minutes in the morning, or even moments when you’re waiting inline. What matters is that you take conscious time out to just be. This can be especially helpful to do during masturbation. Suddenly you feel everything more. It’s like someone turning a light on. Imagine the positive effects with a partner!
Connect with your inner energy channels:
You might have heard the term “charkas” before. We’ll be going more in-depth into charkas in a later article but for now what you need to know is that there are seven of them in your body beginning in the groin region and moving up to above your crown. Energy circulates through these charkas. And once you get in touch with your own you can learn to pick them up in other people. Working with your charkas is pivotal when it comes to true prolonged sexual ecstasy. You can begin by something called streaming. Streaming, allows you to open your charkas to the flow of pleasure. You can get in touch with this by sitting peacefully (always have a quiet, uninterrupted place to do all of your tantric practice) and begin to visualize energy moving up the channels of your body. Notice the tingling and pulsing of your body’s energy. It is in this way that many learn to experience sexual pleasure without physical stimulation. And this is only the beginning…
Embrace ecstatic consciousness:
There are four routes to sexual consciousness.
Breath – Full, deep breathing is a cornerstone of Tantra. Most people never learn to breath fully. Try it on your own anywhere you are and feel the energy automatically stir in your body. Then try altering your breath while masturbating. More breath equals more orgasmic energy.
Sound – Many people are very inhibited about making sounds when they are sexual. But it tends to be our natural response; all that groaning does serve a purpose. Release that pent up sound energy and allow it flow through you. It’s a sure way to unblock that energy channel and practicing during masturbation is a must.
Movement – People naturally move when they are happy – think of what your favorite music does to you. Begin by paying attention to how your body grinds and gyrates in masturbation, allowing that natural energy flow to manifest it self. Also, erotic dancing can help you get more grounded in your body so, maybe take a belly dancing class or strip tease class to et those juices flowing.
By beginning to embrace your own tantric power you will never again be reliant upon a partner for sexual fulfillment. It is through these practices that the bliss of orgasm can be yours whenever and wherever you desire. After all, I believe that is why most people unconsciously seek out orgasm anyway (not just because it feels good), but because it one of those rare times in human existence that we feel the universal energetic forces within ourselves.
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