It’s a word we miss-use all the time. Much like the word addiction, we have forgotten or never knew the true meaning. I’m talking about the word “fetish”. You know how people say, “Oh, I so have a fetish for Louboutin shoes” or rocky road ice cream or any item anyone wants to insert? We use it because it’s an interesting and easy word to throw in the mix to convey how obsessed or how much we like something or someone. Alas, Wikipedia reminds what the real meaning is:
“A fetish is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish.”
Basically, a true fetish is when someone cannot become aroused without the object or situation of his or her desire. For instance, Harvey can’t get it up unless he masturbates with women’s underwear. It can still be a healthy part of someone’s sexuality if it isn’t impeding their ability to function sexually or other aspects of their life. Like Harvey’s wife having a conniption when she finds him masturbating with her underwear. At that point the couple has the choice to either integrate the sexual pattern into their relationship, have a “don’t ask/don’t tell” policy between them or the unlikelihood that Harvey will give up his sexual fetish. I say unlikely because sexual fetishes, once established can be very hard to break in people. Yes, it can be done but really most therapists would rather work with the couple to integrate it into their sexuality. This means that Harvey may have his wife masturbate him with her panties during sex play.