Welcome!

This website is about more than a name and yours truly. It’s about embracing your life fully and living the sexiest, most passionate parts of yourself in every realm. Love and sex are great conduits to every aspect of your life whether it’s health, fashion, parenting, spirituality or products. My desire is to destroy the myth of Madonna/whore once and for all and to help men and women live fully integrated lives where we don’t hide what makes us feel good. A holistic lifestyle is my own personal goal as a wife, mom and career gal and I look forward to your feedback to help expand on that as well. This ain’t a one waystreet peeps. I have lots to learn from you and lots to share as a sex and relationship therapist.

 I want [email protected] to help you live the healthiest, most well balanced life possible – for you to be your most optimal self. That means embracing who are and refining who you want to be in a non-judgmental, practical way that works for you — not some television pundit or the desperate housewife down the street. Love and sex can and should be fun most of the time but all of us get in our own way at times. That’s why I wanted to create a place where you could come to get a different perspective on all things sexy and sensual and help you apply them to your life so you can be the wife, dad, mother, husband…human being that you want to be.

Yes, I or contributors to this site might say things you’ve never heard before,drop an occasional f-bomb or offer an opinion that makes you blush. But that’s the point people! Let’s get out of what we “think” we know about ourselves, our relationships and sex and talk about what really works for the average Joe and Jane out there.

So, you’ll find lots of information about sexuality and sexual health under the SEX category, articles, videos and Q&As about love, marriage, communication and dating under LOVE and a mixed bag of tidbits on spirituality, celebrity, general health and well-being, family and parenthood in LIFE. When you visit CRUSH, you’ll find my posts about anything and everything that applies to the above that I am digging. This includes products, funny videos, music, fashion, Pinterest posts etc. The SHOP contains products that I specifically endorse as those that can help you live your most passionate life. Yes, sex toys will be included but also bedding, books, hair care products, supplements and even time saving ideas (so that you can find time to have sex). After all, you deserve to live a SEXY life.

About “Me”

Here’s my deal…as the tag says, I am a wife, mother and sexologist. Each of those aspects helps define me but just like you, there’s so much more to me that is irreverent and quirky (Ok, maybe not as quirky as Zooey Deschanel, but still). I enjoy a good cocktail, bawdy humor, creative ways in which to live life, meditation, yoga and surfing, hugs and “I love yous” from my two small daughters and having a fantastic session in the sack with my hot, fantastic husband. I “get off” by seeing people either positively transform themselves and/or by bearing witness to people living their lives authentically. Sometimes that means snaking our ways through some shit. I’ll be the first to tell you that I have been divorced, through the difficulty of depression more than once, lived beyond a very repressive and trying childhood and I struggle with self-doubt every day. Yet, I believe I’ve found a way to not only embrace all those aspects but have them serve me.

For those of you having just read that like a dating profile and wonder if I’m actually legit professionally, here’s the other stuff you probably want to know…

I am a Clinical Sexologist Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in the
field of counseling since 1994. Yes, you can actually go to school and study sex.

I have a bachelor’s degree from Arizona State University in Family Resources and Human Development. I have a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology with a post-graduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Therapy from Ottawa University and a doctorate in Human Sexuality/Clinical Sexology from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. I worked many years in the field of public health at Planned Parenthood, Tri-City Health Center, and North County Health Services. I served as board president for the HIV/AIDS and sexual health organization Malama Pono Health Services. I am a member of the Society for the Study of Sexuality and the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. I have also been a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. I am an associate professor at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and an adjunct professor at Akamai University and a previous adjunct faculty member at Palomar College. I happen to also be a certified yoga teacher/therapist through the Yoga Alliance. I like to say that I’m flexible in body and mind.

You can find my writing in Cosmopolitan.com, Menshealth.com, TheKnot.com, SirenMag.com, NaturalSolutionsMag.com, SexualHealth.com, Ynot.com among many others.

I enjoy doing media work and have had the honor of hosting national television infomercials – that is me hawking sex toys at 4am on your local cable channel. I am also the host of the wildly popular (yes, I can say that), free iTunes audio podcast, Sex Chat with Dr. Kat and Her Gay Boyfriend and the equally as engaging free video podcast, Daily Sex Tips from Hawaii. My enhanced iBook, Sex Tips from Hawaii has been in the top ten since launching. In addition, social media is very important to me. Face it; you’re nobody if you don’t have a bunch of “friends” and “followers”. You can find me on Facebook at DrKat Van Kirk and on Twitter at DrKatSexChat. Of course, where would I be without YouTube? My channel is 365SexTips. I’ve always got new projects in development, so if you think I should be doing something on a particular topic, let me know. I’m also jonsing to do more appearances on radio and television, so drop me a line.

Now that we know each other better, kick back and relax.